I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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