i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
