He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
