I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
