I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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