please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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