The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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