Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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