So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
