6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
