What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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