i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
