It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am spending my child support on dildos
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
