I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
