Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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