We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
