i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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