Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
