hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
