Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
