He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
