You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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