in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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