Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
