apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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