idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
