do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
