Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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