ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
