I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Boobs speak an international language.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
