Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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