i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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