The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
