If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
