Whod you bang
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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