just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
try to milk me bitch
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