she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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