I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
