I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
