But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
