Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
