Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
