btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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