I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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