just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
