JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
