Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
