THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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