did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
