im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
